05 Aug

Finding a Sex-Positive Therapist

Couples Counseling, Therapy No Response

Finding a therapist who is a good fit can be a challenge. This task becomes even harder when you’re seeking a therapist who is sex-positive. I was recently having a discussion about tips and tricks to find a sex-positive therapist and thought I’d share them with you!

It is imperative that when you seek out a therapist that you feel comfortable being yourself. That means that you shouldn’t have to hide who you are. It also helps to have a therapist who knows about different lifestyles so that you don’t need to spend your time educating them. That said, everyone’s experiences are different, so even sex-positive therapists should be open to new ideas, definitions, and lifestyles.

1. Shop around! Check out the Kink Aware Professionals list for therapists in your area.… If there is no one in your area, google your town with words like kink-aware or poly friendly. Also check out and notice the therapists that list sexuality as a specialty.

2. Of course, just because someone says they are sex positive, it doesn’t mean that you will click or that they are the right fit for you. Make a list of 3-4 therapists and give them a call.

3. Interview them on the phone and make a list of questions to ask. Notice how comfortable they seem on the phone with you. Do they seem empathetic? Are they asking reflective questions? Are they truly listening? Here are some ideas for questions…

  • What does sex-positivity mean to you?
  • Do you have experience working with people who live alternative lifestyles or practice diverse forms of sexuality?
  • What are your specialities?
  • Tell me about the therapeutic approach you take. ie. are you strength-based, into cognitive-behavioral therapy, do you give practical advice, do you focus on the past more than the present, etc.
  • Why do you like what you do?

4. Make an initial appointment and meet the therapist. Trust your gut! If you don’t click with this person, there is nothing wrong with finding a new therapist. Your therapist should not make you feel judged, give you canned responses, or blame your issues on your lifestyle.

For a longer and absolutely wonderful guide- check out this link:…

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