31 Dec

Love Languages for Self-Love

Life Improvement, Self Discovery, Self Help No Response

Anyone who has been in therapy with me knows I love Gary Chapman’s “5 Love Languages” and that I reference his book often. If you haven’t heard of it, you can learn more at his website.

The basic premise is that there are at least 5 different ways we show and like to recieve love from others:

Words of Affirmation

  • Compliments
  • Appreciation
  • “I love you.” “You’re incredible.” “I love the way you do ____.”

Acts of Service

  • Taking out the garbage
  • Doing the dishes
  • Taking the dog for a walk

Recieving Gifts

  • Bringing home flowers
  • Putting a lot of effort into birthday gifts
  • Random gifts

Quality Time

  • Hanging out at home for an evening
  • Going for a hike in the woods
  • Laying in bed talking for hours

Physical Touch

  • Massage
  • Sex
  • Holding hands

The revolutionary thing about Chapman’s work is that it explains how there can be a disconnect if you and your partner(s) have different love languages. One partner may feel they are showing love, when the other partner feels love is lacking because they are unaware of love languages.

So this got me thinking…

Besides love languages, there is another topic I talk about often in therapy. I encourage dating yourself.

I don’t care if you are partnered, single, dating, or whatever, I believe it is so important to make time for dating yourself.

While sitting at work I realized, some people may have a hard time knowing what it means to date yourself because self love ( just like healthy relationships) are not taught in school.

They should be.

I thought Chapman’s love languages could be easily translated into self-love languages and this could easily help people learn to date themselves.

What’s Your Self-Love Language?

Words of Affirmation

  • Writing yourself love-notes or affirmations
  • Using post-its to remind yourself how awesome you are
  • Talking to yourself using loving, positive words

Acts of Service

  • Cleaning the house
  • De-cluttering your work-space
  • Volunteering doing something your passionate about

Recieving Gifts

  • Buying yourself flowers
  • Saving money for something you want
  • Buying yourself a gift

Quality Time

  • Taking yourself out for dinner or a picnic
  • Taking a bath
  • Planning a night in where you do things you love

Physical Touch

  • Masturbating
  • Getting a massage or give yourself a massage
  • Petting a dog/cat, pet-sit

Take a minute and figure out which is your self-love language. Try to find a way to show your self love every day <3


***I am in no way affiliated with Gary Chapman. Just a fan of his work 🙂

How do you INTEND to … December 31, 2017 Get Out of Your Head March 22, 2018