12 Feb

Taking the Stress out of Valentines Day

Dating No Response

It’s the holiday that we all love to hate  and it brings people so much stress! On one hand- it should be stressful because it commemorates the martyrdom of a Roman priest and martyrdom is a pretty heavy topic. But that’s not why most of us feel stressed about a holiday mostly propagated by greeting card companies.

I see a lot of people freaking out about Valentines Day because of unspoken expectations and worries about letting partners down. I see stress because some people don’t have partners and this holiday is an uncomfortable reminder. I see stress because this holiday can be incredibly heteronormative (like most holidays).

Here are some ideas to lower your stress on V day:

  • COMMUNICATION. If we taught children better communication, they would grow up a lot happier and I might be out of a job. Tell your partner what you want. So many people are afraid of seeming needy or high maintenance, so they just hope that their partner knows what they expect. This just causes hurt feelings and fights. Ask for what you need, even if it feels uncomfortable. Ask your partner for what they want as well.
  • Self-Care Day. What if you spent Valentines Day focusing on compassion and love for yourself? I think this is a positive idea for people who are both  in relationships and for those who are not. Make some plans to really focus on what makes you happy and make your needs a priority.
  • Be Different. Celebrate what makes you (and partners if you have them) different and unique. Who says you need to buy flowers and chocolate? Make a tradition that is unique to you and that you look forward to.
  • Show Gratitude. Tell people in your life that you think of them, that you love them, and that you are grateful for them. Include lovers, friends, partners, family, coworkers, etc. Expressing gratitude is good for your wellness and helps people feel connected.
If you haven’t realized already, all of these ideas are things you can do everyday to promote wellness in and out of a relationship. Sometimes we need a special day to remind ourselves to feel gratitude for those in our lives because remembering to slow down and do this everyday can feel overwhelming.

Don’t play into the VDay hype and stress (unless you’re into kind of thing!)

How do you speak to y… January 31, 2019 The New Normal? June 14, 2019