Ask any millennial parent, and they will tell you: watching childhood favorites with your kids as an adult can reveal surprising layers of meaning. Sitting through Disney’s Beauty and the Beast for the umpteenth time, it dawned on me that this classic story can be interpreted as a metaphor for the impact of shame. Hear me out:

The Prince, before he is turned into the Beast, is a young adolescent who makes a terrible error in judgment. He acts callously and shallowly toward a beggar woman—who, in a twist, turns out to be an enchantress. She punishes him by transforming him into a beast. From that moment forward, he is filled with profound shame about his appearance and, perhaps more importantly, the inner beastliness that his outer form now reflects. His shame leads him to isolate himself in his castle, creating a cycle of isolation and despair.

As a sex therapist, I see clear parallels between the Beast’s experience and what happens to people who feel ashamed of their deepest desires, fantasies, or kinks. Instead of accepting and embracing these aspects of themselves by finding community, sharing with a partner, or exploring in a way that feels safe, they often retreat into secrecy and isolation. This self-imposed isolation can lead to feelings of despair, disconnection, and even self-loathing.

Shame and Defensiveness: Lessons from Gaston

In contrast to the Beast is Gaston, who represents another way people cope with shame—by rejecting vulnerability altogether. Gaston is proudly arrogant and unashamed, but not in a healthy way. He only begins to feel shame when he is faced with rejection: the truth that the one woman he desires, Belle, does not want him. Instead of processing his hurt or vulnerability, he tries to manipulate her. When that fails, he becomes violent, unable to tolerate the feelings of rejection and inadequacy.

Gaston doubles down on his antisocial tendencies because acknowledging the truth—that he is hurt and sad—feels too scary and vulnerable. Where the Beast’s shame drives him to hide, Gaston’s fear of shame pushes him into destructive behaviors.

Overcoming Shame and Rebuilding Connection

And then we have Belle, who brings an entirely different energy to the story. Belle spends an entire song lamenting her boredom and longing for a more interesting life, only to find herself held captive in an enchanted castle with a beast. (Someone should have told her to be careful what she wishes for!)

But in this context, Belle represents curiosity and openness—qualities that are crucial when working through shame. Instead of reacting to the Beast with fear or disgust, she approaches him with curiosity. Over time, she helps him see that he is more than just his outward appearance. This mirrors the therapeutic process, where curiosity and compassion allow people to confront their shame, reframe their experiences, and move toward acceptance.

Healing Shame: From Isolation to Connection

The story of Beauty and the Beast illustrates two common responses to shame: isolation (the Beast) and defensiveness (Gaston). Both lead to disconnection and despair. The antidote to shame is connection—whether that’s finding a supportive community, opening up to a trusted partner, or working with a therapist who can help untangle those feelings of unworthiness.

In therapy, I help clients recognize and explore the parts of themselves they may have hidden away out of fear or shame. Whether it’s a sexual desire, a past experience, or a deeply held belief about their worth, the goal is to approach these parts with compassion rather than judgment. Much like Belle helps the Beast see beyond his monstrous form, therapy can help individuals see beyond the labels they’ve attached to themselves and move toward a more integrated, accepting self.

How Therapy Helps You Overcome Shame

If you’ve ever felt like you had to hide parts of yourself because they felt too “unacceptable,” you’re not alone. Shame can make us feel isolated, disconnected, and unworthy of love or connection. But just like the Beast’s transformation begins when he starts to connect with Belle, healing often begins when we allow ourselves to be seen and accepted.

Curious how therapy might help you confront shame and move toward connection? Reach out for a free consultation. I’d love to explore how we can work together to help you feel more at home with yourself.

Stay tuned for more in the Fairy Tale Series, where we explore classic stories through the lens of emotional health, relationships, and personal growth.